I am definitely at the point where the world considers me to be an adult. Most of my behavior is adultish, I am at a legal age, and my future looks not bad. I guess where this post is going is 'be careful what you wish for'. Recently everything in my life came together. I felt like things that were technically working, but really had a lot of behind the scenes issues. I had been actively praying about all these issues, and they all resolved themselves in the span of about 3 days. It was amazing. I struggle a lot with feeling content with what God has given me. I think I have always been a rule follower, but there are always times when you just want to break the rules. For the first time in my life I felt like I was following the rules, and they were actually working for me in a way that I could see in the present. Of course, that didn't last. I always follow the rules, even when I don't want to. As an adult that has translated to following my leaders. The part of me where Christ is in control knows they are right, and following them is the right thing to do. Part of me wants to ignore their advice and just trust God that the situations He puts me in are what He wants for me. I guess I am at the frustration point of wanting to just trust the surface. I am so tired of looking beneath the surface of every action and trying to figure out people's true motives for actions. I know God is testing me in these situations, He wants me to trust Him, but where does He want me to trust Him? I will follow my leaders, at least for now. I really wish that God would just make it easy on us and put us in situations that He wanted us to be in only for the surface reasons. Probably what Christ is trying to teach me right now is to pray through these things on my own. However, that requires time and two weeks before the end of school, that is just a tad short. I have to make a decision, at least a temporary one, now. Please be praying that God would lend me peace in these situations, as well as His wisdom.
P.S. I am trying to be vague in this. Tell me if I failed.
P.P.S. I think this is where the saying "between a rock and a hard place" came from.
P.P.P.S. Am I complaining now? Does this count as turning a knapsack into a boulder?
1 comment:
So, not sure what this is going to sound like coming from me, but I have several immediate thoughts that might be helpful.
1) You are free from rules. Beyond basic morality issues, God does not bind us to a set of dos and don'ts.
2) "All things are lawful, not all things are beneficial." (1 Cor 10:23-24)
3) God never intended us to make decisions in isolation or a vacuum. He put us in community (the church) for a reason. Asking "what does God want for my life" and ignoring people he puts in your life, is like asking someone a question then closing your eyes and shutting your ears.
4) We live in a fallen world with sinners all around us (including the church). Basing life decisions on surface circumstances would be... quite dangerous. This is why we must seek "many advisers" (Proverbs 15:22). When you seek much advice from wise people, truth has a way of shining out. Couple that with an understanding of scripture, and we find great safety.
5) Check out Jeremiah 17:9. It's a little dangerous to gauge reality by our feelings.
6) I happen to know that you are surrounded by people who love you deeply and care about you greatly and want nothing but good things for your life. I know that God desires these same things. You are in a safe place.
Thanks for listening :)
Post a Comment