So, it has recently occurred to me that I am getting older. I am by no means old, and I have been aging at about the same rate since birth, but it has recently hit me that I am about to become an adult. I will very soon be responsible for paying my own bills, without a handout from mom and dad. I will be completely responsible for my own decisions. I will be working a full time job, in education which is scary enough on it's own. I have been in the pre-graduation panic mode for about 3 months now. However, in the last month I have added another area of panic to my life. It has recently occurred to me that I am now at an age where, technically speaking, it would now be acceptable to settle down. Now, like most single college students the idea of marriage itself is still vaguely terrifying to me, at least until I have an awesome roomate relationship where I know how to respond to at least the majority of the challenges that occur in any relationship(but that again is a whole 'nother issue. There are definitely times when I feel a very strong urge to come home to someone who can hug me back. I have a lot of rodents, and my bunny is great about letting me snuggle with him when he knows I need it. However, as nice as it is to talk to someone without having to worry about whether they will agree with you, it would also be nice to have them talk back. Having a roomate does help the situation a little, but there are distinct ways in which they are different from a spouse, in that in the long run it does not matter if you get along or not. Part of me feels these desires for a family quite strongly, particularly when I see a family out walking their dog together, or some other 'sickeningly sweet' family activity. I make fun of it a lot, but I am most definitely a romantic at heart. However, making fun of it makes it easier to not focus on it. In an effort to cure this 'ailment' I have quit reading romance novels. I even gave up romantic movies for a while, but even if you avoid the 'plague of romance' in media, it is still all over town (maybe not at 2am, but that's a bad time to be out for other reasons). However, the part of me that fully belongs to God (and I am working to make this all of me) feels that these desires are inappropriate for a woman chasing after God. Paul encourages us all to be single as long as possible, and I try, but I don't even listen to God all the time, much less a mere human. There are times when my single status does not bother me, but those periods are growing less frequent. Filling my days up with activities helps, but doesn't solve the problem. I guess I am posting this to see if there are any other Rockers dealing with this 'problem' and if you have any suggestions as to how 'take every thought captive to God'. Your sister in Christ, Helen
Disclaimer: If anyone saw themselves talked about in this post, please don't tell me. I think God is ok with most of my postings, so I hope you can be too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I've found that it serves me well in the long run to completely avoid the "chick flicks" I once enjoyed. Though entertaining, they tend to make me extremely discontent since they never include all of the complications, work, hurts, etc. of love.
a spouse is a wonderful thing. and God will use him tremendously in your life. to teach you about Himself. to teach you about yourself. to comfort and rejoice with. BUT, all that said, a spouse will most definitely NOT make you more content with your life. i think that this is one of the subtle lies that we believe about marriage.
ultimately, contentment is a result of drawing near to God and believing Him able to meet your needs for that day. oh my goodness, it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to just stay focused on the day and what God is doing in it. but when i do, i find myself more content AND exerting less expectations on my spouse.
it is a hard road, helen...trying to be open and vulnerable enough to have desires (whatever they might be for) and yet simply trusting God to respond to your needs/hopes/desires as He sees fit.
thanks for being open.
--autumn
So...I'm not a Rocker, I'm in Iowa City. But I thought I would respond to your post anyway.
I'm 26 years old, and I'm still single. And I have found myself completely in love with being single. It wasn't always this way. I went through a lot of the same thoughts and struggles you mentioned in your blog. And I still do have those issues in my mind. But do you want to know what helped me the most? It wasn't making rules for myself, or avoiding certain things, or just trying to convince myself I didn't want marriage. Although those things help, the biggest help I've had is the fact that I have fallen hopelessly in love with Jesus. Right here, right now, I have a romantic love that pursues me, and loves me more than any man could ever offer or attempt to. I spent a lot of years wanting to feel that way, and not feeling it. But I continued to pray for that, continued to tell God that though I didn't feel that way about Him, I wanted to. And over the years, He has answered my prayer.
Just watch for ways that He is wooing you. Consistently, everyday, there will be at least one moment in your day that you can claim as something your God did, just to show you how much He loves you.
As a side note, if you desire to be married, I would look at your relationship with your roommates differently. Though it may not matter in the long run how well you get along, it's good practice to give importance to reconciling with and loving your roommate. If for no other reason, than to help you learn how to do that if God does, in fact, have marriage on the horizon for you.
I'll be praying for you and your heart, sister.
Hey Helen,
I'm glad to hear you are not going to read romance novels anymore. From all that I've heard, romance novels are to women what pornography is to men... they both stimulate desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.
I loved what Amanda wrote. Fall hopelessly in love with Jesus. I know He's not physically present at this time, but His love is real nonetheless.
Also, though Paul was human, his writings as contained in Scripture were inspired by the Holy Spirit and should be regarded as ultimately from God. If you are speaking of Paul's phraseology in I Cor. 7, he is not saying that these thoughts are his opinions, but rather a new revelation that Jesus had not addressed when on earth. At least that's how I've heard those comments to be best understood.
Read and meditate on these sweet verses: Isaiah 54:4-8.
Tim B.
Post a Comment