God's Plan

So many times I catch myself trying to figure out what God has in store for me. Will my faith be able to withstand the test of time? Will He have me change my major? Does He want me to be a missionary? Does He have a perfect partner in store for me? Add to these many other questions that I also can't answer. There are times when I certainly try and struggle, more often than not in fact, but He always comes through for me. So many times I force Him to show me stuff the hard way. This is due to pride, self-confidence, dislike of His way, or many other things. Each and every time though, when I finally give in to Him, instead of feeling bad or resentful, I instead feel relieved. Many times throughout high school I acted out in different ways in an attempt to be controlled. I was a fairly good girl in high school, and a lot of the time I felt like my parents didn't discipline my siblings and I enough. When they finally did I was always secretly glad that they cared enough to take that action. This kind of mimics, on a lesser scale, how I feel with God...illustrating why He is called our Father in Heaven. I always feel like I can temporarily relax, find a refuge, because He is looking out for me. I don't know what His plan is for my life, and most of the time I realize how good a thing that is. I'm sure that if I knew some of what He had planned for me I would turn tail and run in the other direction. I'm positive that He has some plans for my life and are in complete opposition to my plans for my life. I'm also certain that His plan will turn out to be better. Sure, there have been I lot of times when I'm not willing to listen when He tries to tell me stuff. I usually get hurt a few times, then realize the error of my ways. He gives us crosses to bear to learn to trust Him. At some point in the Bible it talks about how He will never give us more that we can handle with His help. I thank Him every day for how true this is. If we can't handle something in our lives, it is because we're not trusting God with it. I hate having to see my friends, or myself, go through pain because we are to proud to listen to advice. I hate seeing us make the same mistakes repeatedly because we don't learn. I get so frustrated with myself when I'm acting the same way towards God. Sometimes He has to make us suffer repeated times because we can't learn His message. Sometimes I throw up blockers, saying "God, I think I know what You're trying to tell me, and I really don't want to hear it". Sometimes there are external reasons why I can't understand what He tries to tell me. This is the point at which I thank Him for His ever-constant patience. I thank Him for how much He cares for me, that He is willing to keep trying. Most of all I thank Him for His eternal love for me. I thank Him that no matter how many times I push Him away, He still loves me and wants to be with me. I am so incredibly thankful for what God has done in yours. God is moving in all of your lives. He either wants to develop a relationship with you, or just strengthen the one that currently exists. I pray that all of you will hear His knock on your door, and open it with open arms. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. -LR