Who am I?

I want to begin with a mild disclaimer. I don't feel comfortable using my friends' names without their permission, so I've created nicknames for everyone who will be mentioned. These names are mostly taken from the Bible, some are accurate some are not. The shepherd is one of my friends, this does not refer to Jesus, though this friend is probably one of the best Christians I know which is why I awarded him this title. Ok, now on the meat and potatoes. At the Rock we have been going through the book of Mark, and last night we got to chapter 8. Last night our speaker, the shepherd, asked us who we were most like in our reaction to Jesus. Are we like the Pharisees, reading only to find rules and analyzing the Bible? Are we like the scribes, skeptical of everything and analyzing for historical information? Or are we like little children, reaching towards Jesus with out stretched arms? This is definately the state I would like to be able to say that I am in, and at times I think it's true. There are parts of the old testament where I get so caught up in trying to reconcile what I know from science with what I know from the Bible. As my psych professor would put it...I'm trying to reorganize my schemata. There are also times, particularly in Numbers and Leviticus where the writing, I'm sorry to say it, gets really kind of tedious and boring. In those books I tend to skim over and look for the good parts...the stories, the rules, the reactions. Then there are times like now, when I refuse to make time to read the Word at all. I enjoy the stories, I love hearing about Jesus's life, I adore listening to his teachings, but I wont make the time for it. I prefer to skip a few days then read a week's worth of the One Year in one sitting...which is bad. Everyday I intend to read just before bed, then that time comes around, and I zonk out. I think I need to pick a new time. I've been convicted lately that I should create a morning quiet time, but I'm kinda reluctant to take away from my sleep. If you guys out there in blogger land would be praying for my strength of character that would be awesome. That's the end of this topic, now on to the next topic. I don't know how many people who read this go to the Rock, or even live in Ames, but if you do you know the extreme awesomeness of the Lone Strangers. One of their best songs is called Undignified, which is also performed by David Crowder Band if you are interested. When I hear that song I feel the urge to go nuts, to become undignified, and alone in my room I give into that urge. I do the jumping up and down, hair tossing, arm pumping, loving the song and feeling the music. In public, I bob up and down a little and pump my arm when it says "hey". I love God. I love the song. I love being undignified, but I'm afraid to let go in public. I want to be out there, talking to people, making a fool of myself for the glory of God...instead I do surveys. I have always known I'm a chicken, but this is the first time it's seriously bothered me. Everybody at the Rock is nuts for God, that's why they're there. I know they would not judge me, and might even join me, but I still can't. This is another thing I plan to work on. Maybe rocking out at Towers would be easier....just me, but it a public place...work myself up to it. I will definately keep you posted. Random side note...how to you spell definately? Well, if I've started going off on tangents this probably a good place to call is a morning. Have an awesome day bloggers!