3/30/07

Hi. My name is not particularly important, the journey is what really matters. I am in the process of developing a relationship with Jesus Christ. This relationship has been in the making for many years, and I am thrilled to say that I accepted Him into my heart in late October 2006. This is my testimony. I grew up in New York City. My parents believe in God, but wanted to let me make my own religious decisions. They sent me to a private girl's catholic school so I would at least get the religious background. I was tempted to convert several times, mostly due to peer pressure, but always resisted for fear of Church. There may be some awesome churchs in New York, but the ones in my neighborhood are very big, grand, stuffy, and terrifying to a young child. There was no way I was putting myself through that every Sunday. In high school I got over my fear of Church and began to enjoy the weekly serviced we were forced to attend. I joined Campus Ministry because nobody else would and I enjoyed setting up folding chairs in the dark...I'm weird like that. I also began to play around with the idea of religion. I believed in a higher power, but I disliked the menacing God of the old testament, and did not know the God of the new testament very well. I turned to religions like Buddhism to find a peace-loving God. I finally settled on Wicca, a nature-worshipping religion and thought I had found my place. My parents hated it of course, but I thought I had found a God I could really relate to. Upon graduation from high school I decided to attend Iowa State University. ISU has every major imaginable, and my grandparents live in Iowa, so it was the perfect choice for me. At ISU I began to look in earnest for people I could relate to. I found the ISU Pagan club, which is supposed to be similar to Wiccan beliefs, but the people there were phonies. All they cared about was getting laid, and I wanted more than that. In NYC I had led a very sheltered life, content to do what I was told...consequently I was not very well prepared for the world of college and living on my own. Over the next year I made a lot of bad decisions, took up with some bad people, etc etc. Sophmore year started out with probably my second biggest mistake...but picked up quickly. I developed my own mind and opinions and began to revisit the idea of religion. I lived in Friley and there were a bunch of girls, the Weeping Women, who would come around regularly to visit their friends and talk to me. They invited me several times to a group on campus, the Rock. I always resisted because at that point I would rather hang out with my non-religious friends, then take a chance on having ISUPC happen all over again. I had been scared off of religion. One night FFF was cancelled so I decided to stop by and check out the Rock, on the MU terrace. I felt really out of place, but everyone was really friendly, and I definately feel that going is one of the best decisions I have made. School ended for summer shortly after and I continued thinking about God. The music there had struck a chord deep inside me. I wanted to know more, and when I came back in the fall I got the chance. I started going to the Rock and Stonebrook Community Church regularly. I eventually realized the connection between the OT God and the NT God. One night in October at Towers I made the decision to accept Christ into my heart. I wanted to make myself perfect for Him, but finally realized I can't do that. I am a sinner and I continue to sin, even when seriously trying not to. I was baptized on November 5, 2006. I was amazed at how excited my friends were when that happened. It has been a tough road since then, but only once have a mildly regretted the decision, and I quickly realized how stupid that was...but that is a story for another time. Basically I created this blog to tell my story. I am not particularly good at talking to people, but maybe God will lead someone to this site, and maybe nothing will come of it...but maybe it will plant a seen in someone's heart. Maybe God will use this to speak to someone. This post is getting longer than I expected it to, but I will post again soon. -Lazarus Rizing (LR)

"Go out and make disciples of all the nations" -paraphrasing from somewhere in the Bible